Hello!
I hope this isn't too ominous! So to assuage any concerns, the site's fine! but I've been silent for a rather long time so I think it's best I give you all some updates on me, walltaker, etc.
The UK... the you-what?
So far... we're ok? As always, and it's plastered around the site so no excuses: YOU NEED TO BE OVER THE AGE OF 18 TO BE HERE. I IP ban people if I get a whiff of anything. I do not play games with this. This is an adult website. I also do not want to scan your face! I don't have the resources, money, nor desire to set up a "real" big-brother-eqsue face scanning system such that you've seen on other adult websites.
This does not matter to the UK though. As the fine folks at Ofcom would put it: tough shit. The ace I have up my sleeve though is We are not operating in the UK, since we never have. I've made sure all CDN endpoints, all servers, and all services are not on the British Isles or the Island of Ireland. (They never were) If you're british, feel dissuaded! I am, specifically, not marketing to you. You should feel something in the vibes that is distinctly... not british. Very intentional. Is it the wafting aroma of my warm cuppa Red Rose? or maybe it's the squiddgy sounds of grains-Ã -grains action? Either way, I am now convinced this is a non-issue. I do not operate in the UK, I have no operations in the UK, this is not a site for the UK. It is a site, for adults ONLY, living in places that are not the UK, which the globe-fans out there may call by its technical term: most places.
Should you access the site from the UK, I could not stop you. However, the King will think you're weird. Which should be more than enough deterrent, for what is, I repeat: not a site for the UK. I may not even know where the UK is... is that... like Hawaii? Thankfully the head injury I sustained has really come in clutch.
Me
While the site is fine, if I'm being totally honest, I'm not doing so well. This past year and a half has been rough on me. I've had some serious events in my family, as well as a cancer recurrence scare with my mum. (Which thankfully ended up as a benign blob on a scan!) I've been working a lot, and frankly, the wave of AI hype has me sort of hating the world right now. Having people at work, tell you about the ways they wish to replace you, disregarding the years of work you've put into learning the things you know as some sort of old-fashioned self-flagellation. I always wanted to make software, as silly as that sounds. I've always loved computers, and I've always been interested in how they work. I truly don't believe I can change that about myself; it's what I've been sorta assembled to do.
Having that taken away really hurts. It's not so much that I believe all software will be simply spat out by an LLM using frameworks and libraries conceived of decades prior, frozen in time when the "AI" took over or something. A lot of very annoying people will tell you that. But rather just that those same very annoying people will happily wrangle away the only thing I'm good at and deeply care about from me, under the guise of imagined obsolescence. That hurts, and I truly loathe these people. I hate that "tech" as an industry has to share breathing space with people hell-bent on ruining art, joy, literally any form of expression, and also all sexuality it seems. These are lame big-tech nerds, basically.
Content Warning: Family Death
I truly find myself hating people more-often-than-not nowadays, which has be a bit nervous. My uncle died this year in his sleep. My aunt woke up next to him. It was totally unexpected, an underlying heart condition that no one suspected. That really left some mark on my psyche. I don't like the idea that tomorrow, I'd be known as this hateful person. My uncle by contrast, was an insanely generous and kind man. He worked at a home for those with disabilities. The people he helped were always on a first-name basis with him. They'd celebrate birthdays, holidays, everything to make their lives as fulfilling and whole as they ought to be. I'm somewhat worried, maybe selfishly, that I have no impact of the sort. It's something I would like to change but I have to get over this deep debilitating anger I have about the world.
So overall, not great! I am working on myself but I wish I had some "brighter side" message for you. I don't. I'm trying to be less sad, but it's hard in a world where I see governments gunning down families in Gaza, the US having its own alt-history exploration of 1940s europe, and possibly the only thing I've ever been good at taken away from me, with still about 50-60years of life to go. I don't know what comes next, but I guess in some ways I think it's interesting to stick around. Got that going for me I guess.
Walltaker
I'm really sorry it's been so neglected here. I still swing in to do bans/handle reports, but my enthusiasm got nuked by just the... everything. The site is not dead. I am not one for big finalities. I am waiting for that spark to just appear in me. It costs me about 100$ CAD a month, which is still workable for me. I really appreciate the donations, they help a ton. <3
If you have sent me a message in the past 4-6 months, and I didn't reply... I ignored it. I'm sorry. I get 10-20 a day. Usually while I'm at work, and my mental state has really just pushed me to "hide and maybe they go away mode" instead of anything else. For that I apologize. Contact me again and I'll try harder.
-- Gray,